being static..but I want to move forward. how?

Copy + pasted form my LJ again. ^ ^;;; (lazy me)

All I did today was mop around and cried and cried some more.
I dunno why but sometimes when I think too much of the future it just makes me sad. I'm not living my life the way I want. I feel like I haven't achieved anything yet. And I really don't know what to do. Its like I'm static. I'm currently being useless at home. I tried to find a job but failed. So now I'm hoping to futher my studies.

I think back of what I've been doing lately. Not much. I did nothing for the last couple of months. and I'm away in reaching my goals and dreams. But seriusly, I don't know what to do anymore. I want them so bad but I dunno how. I feel like I can;t even move. I need someone to guide me. to show me what to do. But to find someone who truely understand me is even harder. Even my family doesn't get me, how can I expect my friends to understand what I'm going thru.

I was ranting all night yesterday. Sorry. But you guys are the best of friends.

Ever since I get to know Arashi, I met so many people and made so many friends. In Malaysia and though out the world. I'm glad I get to know you guys. *hugs* You guys have always been there for me everytime I feel down.. Even thou we're far from each other, I hope someday I'd get to meet each and everyone of you.

and sorry if I rant too much the couple of days. Thank you for replying to my previous post and thank you for those encouraging words too. :)