Hmm..
I've been having difficulties in breathing since yesterday. I cound't sleep all night plus I had a running nose and my heartbeat is fast. I actually thought it was pretty normal cause I've been experiencing this from time to time. But according to my mom, its not suppose to be normal..and she says there is something wrong with my body.
So we went to the doctor today and had a checkup. The doctor seems to notice that my pulse is fast. Turns out..the cause of this is..STRESS. Stress can lead to difficulties in breathing..hmmm. And why am I so stress? I don't know..since work is going great..the office enviroment nor the work doesn't stress me out. My mom thinks..it is because I think to much of my future. *sigh*
The year is about to come to an end..and I still have no clue what I'm going to do next year. Where I'm going to..or what to even do. And I think she's right. Sometimes when I think about this too hard..I'll end up crying alone in the bathroom. I guess..I'm worried..so that might explain the pulse. Pannick attack is causing the diffuculties in breathing.
My future is still unsettled. So I don't know how to solve this physal isuees. The doctor gave me some prescreptions..but I don't think any med could stop this enxiety. The problem would still be there until I finally figure it out.
On top of that..I had a checkup for thyroid too. Since you can't identify the thyroid by just looking at it.. I have to take a blood test. I've been having the symtoms. Sweaty palms. Shaky hands. I've never notice it..but when the doctor asked me to streched my fingers..I notice how shaky it was. Really bad sign. Another sign is..difficulties in moving the legs sometimes...like shaky legs? I dunno. But yeahh..since I have artherities, my kness are weak. Sometimes it hurts to walk up the stairs. So yeahh..hopefully we'll get the result from the blood test soon.
Hmmm..I might scare you guys...but..I have another problem. Remember about a year ago I mentioned about a certain lump in my breast? Yeahh..its there again. A year ago..I used the traditional way to get rid of it and it seems to work since the lump dissapeared. But oh~ Its there again. And I think its bigger than the last time. Last year, the doctor sugeested an operation, but I was too scared. *sigh* So this time..I think I have to go with it...to get rid of it once and for all.
..On the way back from the clinic I've been thinking..about this so many problems I have. Is god testing me? I dunno..but its making me sadder and..and.. T__________T. I'm just feeling down. I want to move forward but I have so many things on my head...and I don't know how to let it out. My dad doesn't support the dicisions I made..and theres some money problems going on too.
Sometimes....sometimes..I just wish I'm someone else. :(
Anw..that said...I think I'm going on a hiatus for a while. I'll be back soon when I feel like writing'flailing again. *hugs everyone*
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5 spoke!:
hunny darling..
idk what i'm supposed to say.i'm not good with words u see..but but..just so you know,i'm here alright.
*hugs* InsyaAllah everything's going to be fine.
haniiiiiiiiiiiiiii ganbattee! T^T awww~ if hani ever need someone pls remember that we're all here for hani ni. gomen ne, i never knw about this. and pls think positively! good things will come after we got our head cleared from the -veness, kitto daijoubu, good things WILL come! we just need to believe, Allah is always there for us kay. odaijini! and yes insyaAllah everything's gonna be fine, aminnn. chii'll pray for hani ne. *HUGS TIGHTLY*
hunny~! fighting! we r always here for u ok? ^^
fuwaa~ Hani... be strong ok?? u'll get back on the top of the wheel of life...
hani dearie,
put aside all the -ve feelings, be strong and dont think too much on where the future would lead you to, just let it happen naturally okay?!
u know that we will always be here for you..ganbatte!!
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