it keeps on pilling up!

i'm depressed.

it hit me. should i really go bugging dad n mom n beg some more? if they say i can't then i can't. if they say they don't have the money than they don't. right? i don't know. i guess i feel sorry for them. my mom really wants me to just go to japan n fullfill dreams..its justs the money has been kinda rough lately (wif dad buying new house in kl). besides..its not like theres no other oppotunity in the future, deshhou? i mean..my parents are going to japan eventually. and i could tag along then.

demo..theres a small voice in the back of mind that kept on saying 'this is the time'. on top of that...my friends are going. i'm don't wanna sit around n feel jealous of them. i mean..going to japan wif them is different wif going wif my family. coz my family certainly don't understand my passion for japan.

i don't know...should i beg some more? or should i stop? i feel sorry for my parents but at the same time i wanna be selfish. i want my dreams to come true. hmm..i'm miserabe right now.